How Meeting Malia Obama Led To My Discovery Of Perhaps The Best Dim Sum Supper Spot In New York
An Actual Conversation With The Screenwriter 3 Years Ago That Began My Love Affair With The Golden Unicorn Restaurant in Chinatown.
IT WAS A WARM NIGHT AND WE HAD SENSIBLY CHOSEN TO EXIT THE PRIVATE CLUB WHERE FINNEGAN BIDEN’S BIRTHDAY WAS BEING HELD IN MIDTOWN NEW YORK - JUST TO CATCH SOME AIR. MALIA AND I DECIDED TO GO FOR AN EVENING STROLL UNTIL WE FOUND HER PARTNER [AT THE TIME] WHO HAD TAKEN THE LEAD A FEW MOMENT PRIOR. SHE WAS PLEASANT, TALL AND EXTREMELY GROUNDED.
Malia: So have you been listening to anything interesting lately ?
Me: Well, I’m revisiting my love for Fela Kuti’s discography and definitely obsessed with Kelela’s work as well. I was literally just listening to this by her [PROCEEDS TO SHOVE MY SCREEN IN HER VIEW WHILE WE WALK]
Malia: Oooh, I’m definitely going to check that out. Wait, maybe I’m following her on my finsta.
Me: She’s brilliant. What about you, did you love the underground rap listening session we went to yesterday?
Malia: It was so refreshing to witness, just like, these emerging rappers doing what they were clearly so passionate about. Also some really great storytelling in a few of the live sets too.
Me: So True. [ IN EXCESSIVELY AGREEABLE TONE]. I love nights like that when I feel like “Zoo York” is full of subculture surprises at every corner.
Malia: Right?! It has its moments.
Me: Like a few days ago, I was at the Rockaway Hotel for a party and then there Mark Ronson was — the DJ for the event essentially! I was sooo stoked!
Malia: Wait….what? That’s awesome. Also……..where are we ?
Me: I have no earthly idea. I’m just following your lead. [NERVOUS LAUGHTER ENSUES]
Malia: [ SQUINTING AT HER IPHONE ] Fab, I know where we are now. We just keep going down this street.
Me: I wasn't worried for a second apart from the fact that my phone is now literally on 2% battery. And now I can confidently say that I am constantly losing this battle with Apple’s planned obsolescence when it comes to their infamous battery life.
Malia: [ GIGGLING AT MY RANT ] Oh shoot. I’m sorry. Well, I think we’ll be fine for now, I think I have a decent enough percentage.
Me: Great! I probably have the poorest sense of direction on the planet without Google Maps. I doubt I could even manage a bloody compass at this point.
Malia: [ FULLY LAUGHING ] I got you. By the way - love the suit. Its a very unusual blue but so pretty.
Me: Thanks, it’s like this teal hue and Paul Smith usually has this very relaxed tailoring which works well with my busy-body antics. Always on the move.
Malia: Very pretty.
Me: Aww, thank you. Adore your black boots too by the way. They look super chic and yet so very pragmatic.
Malia: Oh completely. These are my go-to for the more adventurous nights like this one. And yes — super comfy.
Me: Perfection.
Malia: Oh, and I hope you had a great time at tonight’s get together.
Me: It was definitely…..something. [I FAIL TO HIDE MY PENSIVE EXPRESSION] The music was a vibe though and I definitely shazamed a few of those track IDs.
Malia: Hahahhaa. Don't you just love it when that happens.
Me: Oh that reminds me, do you remember where we had dinner last night? I wanted to visit it again.
Malia: Oh really? Ummm sure. I think we all met at that spot in Chinatown, right? Hold up, let me find the name. Should be somewhere in my messages.
Me: Fingers crossed. [ INVOLUNTARILY SALIVATING AT THE PROSPECT OF GETTING HOLD OF THE INFORMATION ]