"I Decided I'm Not Going To Just Lay In Bed Until This Happens"
A Letter From A 57 year Old Woman Applying For Assisted Death.
Dear Joseph,
My name is Debbie. I'm going to try to make it brief. I was diagnosed 35 years ago and with bipolar and about 15 years ago was the CPTSD because it it took a while. I’ve failed one attempt to take myeline and I’ve been through 2 inpatient behavioural health stays. I’m now 57.
I am in Pennsylvan in the United States and applied for assisted death almost exactly a year ago. I think it was April of last year. Of course you're probably familiar with the process. There's a lot you have to do. So I've made it the whole way up through the process until this physician's letter that they need where they have to ask all these questions. And then the step after that would be actually flying to Switzerland get there, process on their diagnosis and either staying there or waiting until they make their final decision from the United States. That's my understanding of the process. So, anyway, yeah, that's where I am now.
It was a difficult decision to make, but after making it 40 years with this diagnosis and trying it, the reality is that I’m exhausting my resources and just not being well and feeling you know like you l'm sure you can relate you know despairing and like I don't want to hurt any other people in my you know in my life so I try actually to stay very secluded so that I don't do that because you know how this illness is. It's funny though. I also volunteer with hospice patients.
There's actually something very comforting about doing that. And once just like you, I decided I'm not going to just lay in bed until this happens, until it works itself out. So just as one does I fill my days giving my time to a hospice and doing what I can. So, I get that too. Thank you so so much for being so open and honest about your journey. It makes me feel so much less alone.
Love Debbie.
Hello Joseph. My name is Angela. Im argentinian, Im a recently graduated mother to Dante (1yo) and a nurse. Just wanted to say hi, introduce myself as i am reading your Pages and getting to know this part of your life. I have just learned that a colleague of mine whos had early birth twins and one is really fighting for his life. Do not know why, but just needed to say that. Everyone is fighting. Everyone has a right. I do not know why but Glad you join you in this journey. Hope you had a Good day.