I Gave A Ted Talk On Quitting

Nobody Watched It.

AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST ABOUT MY SPIRAL DURING THE PANDEMIC.

Prof. Heather: You said you spoke about being su!cidal during the pandemic.

Me: Yes, during COVID I voiced my nuanced perspective on giving up… yes. But it was more in retrospect.

Prof. Heather: How do you mean?

Me: The context was, umm… About 4 years ago, I was invited by my alma mater to speak for a TEDx they were organising.

Prof. Heather: Oh… impressive. [ SHE INTERJECTS]

Me: Thanks. Didn’t feel like that at the time to be honest. During that talk, I went a bit off-script and acknowledged that I had attempted to take my life five [5] times.

Prof. Heather: How did that make you feel?

Me: Ambivalent.

Prof. Heather: I see. Why that word?

Me: Ambivalent?

Prof. Heather: Yes.

Me: Because I lied.

Prof. Heather: About what exactly?