I Was Sexually Harassed In Front Of Two Friends On Our Way To The Best Falafel Spot In Amsterdam

An Actual Conversation With Renée and Yonah During and After The Completely Re-Traumatising Ordeal

I WAS THIRD WHEELING HARD WITH A LOVELY COUPLE THAT I FIRST MET WHEN THEY HOSTED ME FOR MY THIRD DINNER OF THE LAST SUPPER PROJECT. WE WALKED THAT LATE DECEMBER AFTERNOON ON A GREY WET THURSDAY. I WAS WRAPPED MODESTLY IN A GENEROUS CAMEL ALAIA COAT, BELL BOTTOM GREY SLACKS AND YELLOW HOFF SNEAKERS. ALL THREE OF US WERE 5 MINUTES AWAY FROM ARRIVING AT A POPULAR FALAFEL SPOT WHEN SUDDENLY A HEAVY SET SEEMINGLY ARAB-LOOKING BYSTANDER APPROACHED THE THREE OF US. HE WAS FAIRLY TALL AND HIS EYES SLIGHTLY BULGING.

The much needed Falafel at the end of a traumatising ordeal on December 26th 2024

Bystander: Hello! Welkom!! [ RANDOMLY WAVES FROM A DISTANCE IN THE MIDDLE OF SIDEWALK STOMPING OUR WAY]

WE POLITELY IGNORE.

Bystander : Hey you blek is sexy!! [ POINTING AT ME WHILE MAKING LOUD KISSING SOUNDS WITH HIS LIPS AS WE WALK ]

WE STILL IGNORE..

Renée: It’s a lot more quiet than I expected in this neighbourhood isn’t it. [DESPERATELY TRYING DIVERT OUR ATTENTION AS WE PREPARE TO WALK PAST HIM]

Bystander: Hey, he’s very sexy isn’t he? [ HE NOW SPEAKS TO YONAH POINTING MORE AGGRESSIVELY AT ME AND GYRATING HIS HIPS SUGGESTIVELY ]

AT THIS POINT THE BYSTANDER LOOKS LIKE HE’S PREPARING TO FULLY MAKE CONTACT.

Yonah: [ GIVES THE MAN A STERN LOOK BEFORE RESPONDING TO RENÉE’s PLACATING SMALL TALK ] Yeah, I think most people might still be away on holiday as a lot of the eateries here are local diaspora.

Me: Oh that makes more sense. [ I QUICKLY STATE OUT OF THE BLUE GASLIGHTING MYSELF ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED ]

Renée: Huh, and there are very few “festive” decorations on this side of town so I can imagine that’s probably the case.

AFTER CREATING REASONABLE DISTANCE FROM THE BYSTANDER, A 15 SECOND SILENCE INSUES AMONGST US. ITS AS THOUGH WE ALL SEEM TO BEGIN THINKING ABOUT WHETHER TO OVERTLY ADDRESS OR ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HAPPENED WHILE ARRIVING AT THE FALAFEL JOINT]

Yonah: Um, are you okay? [HE LOOKS AT ME EARNESTLY]

Me: [MY PUPILS BECOME GLASSY AND I LOOK DOWN] Oh… that was superrrr random and strange…

Renée: Yeah, but are you okay?

Me: [ TAKES DEEP SIGH ] I’m sure he was just drunk or something, but it’s so early in the day...right?

[ I SEARCH THEIR EYES HOPING THAT THEY JOIN ME IN DOWNPLAYING THE ENCOUNTER ]

Renée: It was kinda f**ked up and I’m so sorry.

Me: yeah…..umm..yeah that triggered me a bit. [MY SHOULDERS SUDDENLY RELAXED AS THOUGH THEY WERE GIVEN PERMISSION]

Yonah: Yh, that was wild but we’re going to cheer you up with some warm falafel. Come let’s get in. Its a bit cold. [ RUBBING HIS PALMS TOGETHER WITH SALVAGED ENTHUSIASM]

Me: Yeah let’s do it! [ TAKES QUICK BREATHES ]

Renée: Its pretty heavy food though. The portions can be fairly generous and sometimes I feel like I won’t be able to finish one.

Yonah: Yeah, that tends to happen. [ NERVOUS LAUGHTER ERUPTS ]

Me: I always say that heavy meals like this always act like a sedative. So I hope I can walk after that [ PAINED SMILE CONSUMES MY FACE AS I ATTEMPT A JOKE]

Renée: Well……rest is never a bad idea [ SHE GENTLY TOUCHES MY SHOULDER ]

WE ARE PROMPTED TO ORDER AT THE COUNTER AND MY MIND JUST DRIFTED AS THEY BOTH ENGAGED WITH THE SHOPKEEPER. I BEGAN TO ASK MYSELF QUESTIONS IN MY HEAD AS A SLOW INTERNAL SPIRAL BEGAN TO UNRAVEL .

Me [ internal dialogue ] : Was it something I said? Did I wear something in particular that warranted that harassment? Why does this keep happening to me? That was soo freaking random and in broad daylight. Broad daylight!!! What is wrong with me? I don’t even feel attractive today. Why is it so cold? Did I welcome this behaviour? Should I grow my hair out to appear less “androgynously exotic”? Maybe the bald cut hair is too provocative? Was it the way I was walking? WTF? Would I even believe this happened if these two weren’t here? Aaaaah!

Renée: [ TAPS ME GENTLY ] What would you like ?

Me: [ CATEGORICALLY DISORIENTED ] Oh um, I’ll have the chicken falafel option perhaps.

[MY TONE IS UNRESOLVED AND UNSURE ]

Yonah: Cool, let’s do that.

Renée and Yonah smiling at my expression of triumph falafel in hand.