Reasons I Would Like To Have A Dutch Boyfriend [At Least Once] Before I Die

Hear Me Out.

1. So I could plan a pescatarian picnic in Bloesempark for his birthday.

   Bread and cheese would be fully on standby. The bread would be sourdough.

   

2. So I could attempt [but miserably fail] to make us some traditional Dutch Jachtschotel from his childhood.

3. So I could wear a smile [and some orange] on King’s Day to reluctantly join him & his friends on a canal boat. [Life jacket would be necessary and non-negotiable]

4. So I could aggressively cheer him on during the Amsterdam Marathon over the bridge at a Vondel Park check point.

   

5. So I could make him come to my awkward stand up comedy sets in De Pijp.

   [After begging you to listen some of my lines]

6. So that when I refuse to ride a bike in the city he gives me an agreeable lift.

   

7. So that I could introduce him to my nephew and niece [both doodles] to see if he passes the vibe check. “If you want to be my lover, you got to get with the doodles.”

   

8. So that Friday after work, I can look outside my favourite reading window at Kikkie to see if he’s arrived for our date night smash burger ritual.

9. So that then when we cohabitate, we can do our own thing in the same room.

   I would occasionaly run some of my literary drafts by him. [Bonus points if you have a cat - I’'ll run it by them too]

10. Oh and so he kisses me like this on Saturday’s before we head to the farmer’s market. [ bonus points for if the sex makes sense]