3 Comments
User's avatar
Keyser Soze's avatar

Have the words ‘Post Traumatic Stress Disorder’ really been trailing behind you in silence? You have been associating yourself with them, as well as the CPTSD label interchangeably, for some time. I am also a bit confused as to how you would be diagnosed directly after an assessment (which happened 2 days earlier than stated initially). That is not standard protocol for any mental health practitioner, especially not one with such a tenure. Aren’t you an undocumented immigrant? That would mean, since you admittedly have not started the process to gain citizenship, that there is no way you could have even a primary care physician in the Netherlands, let alone a psych. With her being recommended by a “Dutch-Brazilian” in Utrecht, I assume your psych is local to the Netherlands, which wouldn’t explain your ability to work with her. Lastly, when did your clinical depression diagnosis at 16 become a bipolar disorder diagnosis? Those are very different conditions. You wrote on a LinkedIn post that you were diagnosed with depression with no mention of bipolar, yet you make it the focal point of almost every aspect of your life. If you are really committed to radical openness, you’ll clear these things up without issue. I look forward to gaining a better understanding.

P.S. How was volunteering at the soup kitchen? There was no mention or even a single photo posted, which is out of character for you.

Expand full comment
Joseph Awuah-Darko's avatar

The phrasing of these questions is accusatory and hurtful but I'll respond for what it's worth. Firstly, as my "parasocial" presence evolves there is a sense that what I share is "everything". I find this strange but learning.

So, my appointment was for the 16th and my dumbass thought it was the 18th - which is what you saw I shared on the weekend. She emailed a reminder yesterday thankfully. It was NOT the first time we had spoken. In the Netherlands, undocumented migrants can access emergency and certain mental health services via the Regeling Onverzekerbare Vreemdelingen (Regulation for Uninsurable Foreigners) or access care privately.

My psychologist works within such a network and agreed to see me after a recommendation and a long conversation about my situation. It took several months, emails, and advocacy to get here. I did not share that. She also administered a structured diagnostic tool during our assessment. In cases where a patient presents with sustained trauma symptoms over time, corroborated by multiple records, a diagnosis can be delivered after a single or second session—particularly when the clinician has extensive experience. I also have an official letter [which I won't share] recognising the diagnosis.

Also, thanks for making me revisit my LinkedIn. The only point at which I mention depression [ which is part of bipolar disorder] in a LinkedIn post 4 months ago. I've spoken about my bipolarity for years and I was indeed diagnosed in South Africa at 16 as "manic-depressive / bipolar". And the depths of my depressive episodes were highlighted.

And finally, the soup kitchen; on 12th and 14th June I shared in my stories that I would be going to the soup kitchen on Sunday but I had really bad diarrhoea. So I could not make it to Rhôneweg to volunteer with the team and they asked me to come whenever I can. No, I did not share on instagram that I had diarrhoea. But I guess now you know? Finally, I have not posted ALL the last suppers or the magical interactions offline. So I don't know what you think is "out of character" for me but I welcome you to expand this idea you have of me.

Have a great day.

Expand full comment
Sharmane Fury's avatar

Joseph I have also recently received a PTSD diagnosis, and like you it felt both validating and just like “yeah I know.” I think the external acknowledgment goes a long way and now having access to resources will be nice too. The journey continues for mental help assistance but these little steps do feel freeing somehow.

Expand full comment